The Avatar's First
by Calicy
Summary: An Airbender's nature is to be impulsive, an attribute which Aang unfortunately demonstrates in the face of impending fatherhood. Thankfully, the Avatar is also blessed with humility, persistence, and patience. Kataang.
1. The Flight

The Flight

The moment Sokka was out of the room after dinner, Aang pulled Katara over to him. Katara had been in the Northern Water Tribe for an eternity and at the delightful sensation of his touch, her body swooned. She pressed her lips enthusiastically against his. He traced the line of her jaw with his thumb.

They parted and she enjoyed the grey of his eyes, letting her hands take in the sinewy form of his torso and back. He rested his forehead on hers, savored the feeling of her hands on him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and pulled him close. He chuckled, sweeping his eyelashes against her cheeks. She was ridiculously ticklish there and he was hoping for a laugh. When that move failed to illicit a reaction, he gently kissed her nose. She had told him once that she thought it was a sweet but weird thing to do. Still, she looked on vacantly. He leaned in to kiss her lips again but she pulled his head down to her chest, cradling him.

"We are very different, aren't we?" he said, tracing a design on her dress.

"What matters we have in common," she said

"But we're not perfect for one another. There are dissimilarities. Things we dislike about each. Things we might grow to hate about each other. I love you so much right now but what if one day we didn't feel this way?"

"Nothing in life is certain," she said, " but for this, I would be willing to give everything."

"That's what I wanted to hear," he said. He pulled back, lounging against the wall, reaching for her hand, "Because I kind of decided that, if I had to, I'd defeat a thousand more Fire Lords for you."

"Well, wouldn't that be a sight," she said, "It would be nothing compared to the millions of cities of ice, I'd create for you."

"Oh, you thought my act of love would only involve defeating Fire Lords? I would also be making thousands of hurricanes while I was defeating those Fire Lords."

"My cities of ice would be on volcanoes. So they would prevent natural disasters as well."

"I would be juggling while I was both defeating Fire Lords and creating hurricanes."

The stared at each other, fighting to keep their faces blank. Aang broke down first, laughing so hard, he keeled over onto Katara's lap. He rested his neck on her thigh and turned to gaze up at her. She smiled, mildly, and stroked his head. She wasn't looking at him but at the closed window.

"You're much more mature than I am."

"What did you say, my love?"

"You're much more mature than I am. Your act involved helping people and was almost practical but mine was just dumb. " he said, "Gyatso told me once that girls mature faster than boys but it really is true."

Katara's hand stopped on his forehead, her eyes still avoiding his. She wanted to tell him everything. How, at a mere twenty years of age, adventures no longer held all the appeal they once had, how her exciting youth had aged her decades. How she thought about building a home in one place and having a stable life for once. How recently it seemed like life was missing something. Instead, she said, "Why would you say that?"

"You're different lately. You're more quiet, more serious. I mean I like it because your jokes are much funnier somehow, you have more advice than before and you listen and care about what I'm saying so much more. Who wouldn't like all that? But it's more. I don't know how much of a hardship this has been but you're even more beautiful than ever," he stroked her cheek and she finally looked at him, "Your skin is just shiny or something."

Before he could stop himself, "And you're more. . ." Patience Avatar, he thought, this next word could be your last. "Lush? I mean, you just look incredible."

He's never going to figure it out on his own, she thought, you have to tell him. But as he stared at her with those adoring eyes, she couldn't bring herself to. It might change that look and that would break her heart.

Aang smiled and sat up. He straightened his robes and propped his chin on her shoulder. "I got new sheets while you were gone. Are you going to come see them later?"

She closed her eyes and groaned. They had secretly shared a bed since Aang was sixteen and very recently, they'd begun sharing much more intimate things as well, "Maybe. What color are they?"

"Purple," he said. It was his favorite color. She had always found his complete lack of any real need to be masculine refreshing. It made him so different from all the men in her tribe or around the world that she'd met. "Gran Gran made them. She put a lovely Airbender design on in brown thread. You really should come see them."

"I'm not sure, purples not my color," she said, "Do you think these sheets would change that opinion?"

He was desperate for a confirmation and it was adorable. She opened her mouth to tease him more but before the words could be said, Sokka burst in. He slammed an object in front of them, "What is this and why did Kea the healer bring it just now?"

Katara was at a lost for words but Aang was not. He leaned forward, inspected the object, and said, "It looks like a crib. Are you expecting Sokka?"

Aang grinned but Katara was staring at her brother, mouth agape, and Sokka looked a little murderous. Then it hit him.

He looked at Katara. She was his lover, his confidant, one of his best friends but this new idea did not fit into his schema of her. "Is this a gift for . . .?"

He turned his body to face her and tried again, "Is this because you're . . ."

He pulled her face to look at him, "What is this?"

"Say it, Katara," Sokka said.

"It's tradition in our tribe to give gifts for occasions like this," Katara's eyes did not waver from Aang's "I'm pregnant."

Aang was rigid with shock but Sokka wasn't. He calmly stepped over the crib, helped Aang to his feet, and punched him in the nose. "Sorry. I just needed to get that out of my system. This will all be fine. I always knew you two would get married and be oogielicious for the rest of your lives. It'll just happen sooner now. The baby can have Aang's room. I'll keep my room and Katara can have Katara's room. And you sir," he poked Aang in the chest, "can sleep in the shed because I'll be dammed if I let you sleep with my sister under my roof from here on out."

"Sokka!" said Katara. She jumped to inspect Aang's nose.

"Alright, I'll be fair! Katara, you have to be classy now too and not sneak out to see Aang in the shed. Deal?"

"Just shut up," Katara said, as she pulled water from her belt to heal Aang's nose, "Is that better?"

"Yeah," he said, wiping away the mess from his face. He was staring at her navel with a look of sheer terror. Already he could see growth.

He was going to be in charge of raising another human life. He wasn't conscious of the pain in his nose but he was aware of the tightness in his throat, his quickening heartbeat, the sinking feeling in his abdomen and the panic in his mind.

"How long have you known?" Aang asked.

"A while. I'm probably almost in my second month now."

"Are you joking? I could have had months to prepare and you're telling me now?"

"I was always trying to tell you. I could never find the words."

"Everybody clam down. You're making me tense," Sokka put his arms around both of them, "Aang, Katara, you'll both be great parents. Probably."

"I need to be alone right now," Aang said.

In his room, he fell onto bed. He had always dreamed of being with Katara but in his youthful thoughts, he had never once thought about children. That he would have them was never doubted but the idea never actively occupied his mind. Like most eighteen year olds, he thought about food, having fun, and his pretty girl and not much else. Marriage and raising kids was not on his immediate agenda.

He stared at his Airbender tattoos. He had so many responsibilities already. Republic City was just making roots, the Harmony Restoration Movement was getting larger and needed so much attention, and his life in general, whether because he was the Avatar or because he was just unlucky, was never easy. He had so many issues. How could he start a family right now?

Already his mind was full of the things he would lose. Spur of the moment visits to go see Toph and Zuko were probably out of the question with a sleeping baby. Naps with Appa and Mom were probably out of the question with a crying baby. He had no idea how to feed a kid, or change diapers, or get them to fall asleep. He couldn't stile the selfish thoughts in his head. He wasn't sure if he was ready to dedicate himself to this new nameless force.

Over the headboard on his bed was Chief Hakoda's ceremonial headdress. Sokka and Katara's father had died the previous spring, to the shock and sadness of his children. Neither of Hakoda's offspring had gotten over it. Aang had never had a father. He'd had Monk Gyatso, the pinnacle of a good father figure. But the man was a very distant memory and Aang wasn't sure if he had the patience and wisdom as that great man. What if Sokka's joke was right and he screwed up the poor child?

Aang panicked.

He tried not to notice how he wrote the note quickly and left it on his pillow. He ignored the fact that he avoided looking back. He did not focus on the weak logic behind this decision. If he had, he would have remembered how it had ended the last time he'd left his family behind.

Later Katara cracked his door open. His bed was never made so she mistook his mound of blankets for his form. She slipped in, shut the door, and crawled in next to him, not touching him. She waited for him to say something but he didn't.

"Aang, I didn't plan for this but it feels right. I don't want any other man to be the father of my children. We don't have to listen to Sokka and get married either. I'll wait for you if I have to. As long as we're together, I'll be so happy. I'm always so happy when I'm with you. I know you're scared. I'm scared but we'll be here for each other right?"

"I love you so much." Katara reached out to touch what she thought was his shoulder. He didn't respond still. She turned her head towards the bundle of blankets and her head crinkled a piece of paper. She grabbed it and ran into the living room where Sokka was sitting, starring into the flames of a burning fireplace.

"Sokka and Katara

Going to Republic City

-Aang"

Katara threw the note on the flames. Sokka went to hold her. Neither knew what to say.


	2. The Return

Return

It took Aang all of three days to realize his colossal mistake.

He had been in flight mode the entire trip to the fledgling beginnings of Republic City. Aang didn't sleep for nearly three days even when Appa and Momo rested for the night. His mind was abuzz with thoughts. He couldn't grab on to one idea without a dozen others bothering him and he certainly couldn't put the whole hive to bed so he just sat up, day and night, thinking about nothing.

The only thing he was aware of was his overwhelming guilt and desperation. Zuko and Toph were visiting the city when he arrived and they were shocked to see him.

"Aren't you taking a break?" asked Zuko

"Yeah but I was going stir crazy." Aang said, "I needed to get back to work."

"Where are the twins, Twinkletoes?" asked Toph, "I thought you, Sokka, and Katara were not allowed by law of the universe to be separated?"

"Sokka's busy and so is Katara," he replied, turning away, "Tell me about this garment district you planned? How can we collect tariffs if it's so far away from the financial offices?"

They didn't buy that excuse but neither said anything. There was a police force to assemble, a council to appoint, and city plans to make. A hundred problems faced them every day. This lord refused to be pay taxes; that cobbler had bought his neighbors house but the neighbor wouldn't leave; this guy over here had stolen a hundred pounds of butter for some reason. It was exhausting, mentally and physically, and exactly what Aang wanted.

Aang threw himself into work and felt worse about it everyday. It left him little time to sleep or eat, let alone think. He was creating something for future generations but he wasn't capable of thinking about his own contribution to future generations. When the government offices closed, Aang could help with construction. Doing cleaning work and building was hard and painful enough to allow him to ignore his internal shame.

Every day was the same. He would wake up at Zuko's house, grab some food, go to government meetings, meet up with Toph, more meetings, then he'd have open office where anyone could come talk to him, then more meetings, then dinner, then construction work until he was too tired and would fall asleep quickly. He had no idea what he was heading for but he was getting there quickly.

So it went for nearly four months. Then Zuko and Toph threw a wrench in his plan.

"I'm going home to Mai and the Fire Nation." Zuko announced one night at dinner, "The regents we elected to help me are bickering about nothing again and maybe if I'm there they'll stop sending me letters every five seconds."

"I'm going too. I need to play pai sho with Iroh. He's been saying he's better than me again. I know right? Not even a possibility that that's true." Toph said, misreading his facial expression.

"What about the city? There's so much work to do."

"Not really. We've done a lot and I think now is a good time to see how it works without us. Plus it seems like everyone is going on vacation so why not join them?" said Zuko.

"You should go home, anyway." said Toph.

Aang looked up from his food. Toph and Zuko both had the same expression. "How long have you known?"

"A while," said Toph, "We wrote to the South Pole just after you arrived because we were suspicious. We almost didn't believe it. This isn't like you, you know? What's up, Twinkletoes?"

"You wouldn't understand," Aang said, "Neither of you have every gotten someone pregnant. You're completely helpless and unprepared."

"I had one of the worst fathers in history," Zuko said, "I wouldn't have been the man I am today if it hadn't been for my uncle. Kids need someone. No matter how ready you think you are or not, you need to be there."

"They'll have Sokka."

Zuko shook his head, "Sokka isn't you. I have my share of father issues and I know how this will end," Zuko left the room.

"You really want Sokka raising your kid?" Toph said.

"I'm confused, okay!" said Aang, "Why does everyone pretend like this is an easy situation?"

"Because it is! Go home Aang. You and Katara were meant for each, grossness and all."

Toph groaned at Aang's silent reply. She stood up, "You know, I wish I had a father who encouraged me to be spunky and loud, to be myself. Like you would," She punched his shoulder, "You better not be here when we get back, friend."

That night Aang wrote to Katara, then again every night after. He told her about everything. How he had see her body growing in what seemed like a second and been terrified. How he had only entertained selfish thoughts. How this felt like a greater weight than fighting the Fire Nation.

His first letter ended, "I'm sorry I always seem to run away."

She never responded and it was more than Aang could handle. Aang began floating through his own life. One night, while he was taking a break during construction duty, he found himself writing up a letter to the head of the White Lotus. Suddenly, a small hand ran up the arrow tattoo on his bare back and over his head, onto his forehead. Aang looked up into the muddy brown eyes of a toddler.

"Hey Kai," a familiar voice called, "Let's not - Hey! Little arrow dude!"

It was Chong the nomad. The man sat with Aang and the two reminisced. Chong was working on the construction project as well. He had just arrived in Republic City and the little boy, Kai, was his son. The talk eventually turned to Aang's current task.

"Planning for the next Avatar? No offense but you're kind of young to be worrying about dying."

"But what if she needs me? I can't abandon her. I want her to grow up happy and safe. No one made a plan for me and I want her to have a good support system."

"Her? How do you know the next Avatar is going to be a her?"

"I don't" Aang stuttered. It was too late though.

"You're not talking about the next Avatar, are you?" Chong said, "Whatever happened to that Water Tribe chick you hung out with? You two seemed like a pair."

Maybe it was the lonely days and nights or the endless shame or the rumination but the comment was too much. Aang finally broke down and told Chong the entire story.

The young Avatar finally looked in the old nomad's eyes. There was no judgement or ill will there. The older man just put a hand on Aang's shoulder. Aang said, "Is it worth all the lost adventures?"

"Yup," Chong said, "No travel would be fun alone. Having a little one isn't the end, little arrow dude. It's the beginning. And hey, if it gets too crazy, leave the kid with Sokka! I'm sure he'd be cool with that."

Go back? It was a frightening idea but Aang couldn't let it go. He assumed he had lost it by leaving, like he'd lost his people and he'd nearly lost the war by disappearing. Was he really able to be a father? Chong let his son eat four cakes for dinner and let the kids stay up until midnight but the boy seemed happy and in love with his dad. If Chong could do it, could Aang?

Could he really return and start anew? Aang missed Katara so much it hurt. He missed Sokka too. He missed having a home with a family. Why had he even left?

Staying made Aang so depressed it hurt. Returning made Aang terrified but the very idea gave him the first good night of sleep he'd had in months.

That night Aang had a dream. Avatar Roku came to him. The two Avatars were outside a hut in the Southern Water Tribe. Before them, Aang could see himself, Katara, and Sokka. Sokka was grilling some jerky while Katara and Aang were peeling some vegetables. Sokka was laughing at a funny story he'd just told and Aang and Katara were sneaking kisses.

Aang remembered the scene. It had been Sokka's birthday. They had been having a big celebration. It had been about a month before Aang had run away.

Aang looked at his past life and found the old spirit was already looking at him. "What should I do?" Aang asked Roku.

"Go home Aang. It will be the best decision you ever made. Little girls are a blessing."

"Huh?"

"Your woman is carrying your daughter. Now go back to them."

When Aang woke the next morning, he wasn't expecting a baby anymore. He was expecting a daughter.

His entire outlook changed. In his head, where thoughts of sleepless nights and lost years was breed, new ideas emerged. A little girl with Katara's dark skin and hair and his grey eyes. A helpless creature who would nap on his chest and cry for him when he was away. He imagined holding her as she took her first steps, watching her sleep, taking her on rides on Appa.

She would call him Daddy.

That unknown creature occupied his entire life. When a women or girl would tell him her name, he would think, 'Oh that might be a nice for her' or 'Never that!'. He studied the hair of little girls wondering how their parents got it that way. Mostly, he thought about playing with her.

The unborn child grew in his mind. Maybe she would be independent and loving like Katara. Perhaps she would be mischievous and sweet like Aang. She might be sarcastic and brave like Sokka. Would she like visiting Republic City to see her Aunt Toph or her Uncle Zuko? Would she be a bender? Would she love animals? Would she love Aang?

He began carving something in his spare time, not knowing what it was. He daydreamed for so long, Toph returned.

"Dammit Twinkletoes! What are you still doing here?"

"I met Roku," he said, not looking up from his carving work, "I'm having a girl."

"Well, not if you don't go back to Katara, you wouldn't."

"How?" he said, "I ran away when she told me she was pregnant. How would she ever get past that?"

"You want to go back Twinkletoes! I know you do! Look at what your making!"

He looked, at the small circular piece. It was an engagement necklace.

"Katara's a smart girl so don't try to be wise or philosophical or any of the spiritual crap you usually pull. Just take full accountability. Get down on your knees and beg. And look pathetic. That face you have now will definitely work."

"Bu-"

"The only time failure is certain is when you don't try."

He looked into her eyes. She smiled in his direction.

"But what if - "

"Oh for crying out loud," Toph replied. She bended the earth under him so he was forced to his feet. "Go!" She bended the earth so he took steps. "Come on now. Don't make me push you all the way back to the South Pole," she pushed him with a clump of dirt. Aang called for Appa and fly off before Toph could crush him.

"Thanks Toph!"

"Anytime!"


End file.
